CHAPTER 1: SISTAS ARE DOING IT FOR THEMSELVES!!!!!
Introduction
The meeting was attended by 14 beautiful lesbians. The convener was Fundi Ndaba. She arrived late, and blamed it on the weather. Tsidi(Liebe) , Nomonde, Fikile KaNtazi were already there, Emelda arrived with her partner shortly, Confy joined in quietly and TJ, Tandi and their crew arrived shortly. The 14 members also included the Londoners who are from Zimbabwe, with whom Fundi Ndaba shared that if Dinner 48 be profitable, they will have a fair share to be calculated by the accountant for their participation in planning of the session. We had apologies from Mpho Nemphuri, Sibulele, Imana and other two friends due to their prior commitments.
Ice Breaker
It was a casual session, we had all agreed to be informal and as the ice breaker we shared more about who we are, how we spent our holidays while waiting for the other guests to arrive. We shared on how we spent our holidays. Filike, her partner and friends were on holiday in Mozzie. Green with envy I must say @ Maputo and Fatima’s in Tofo .Pictures on Facebook highlighted a holiday not to be missed. We agreed that we can start saving at least R300 a month so that we can plan that trip later in the year. The beauty is we will be traveling on the bus, and connect through Fatima's. Fikile should be our tour guide. So there it is Lesbians, we can be just a bunch of hooligans who hangs out at Zoo lake, parks for drinks. We have an opportunity see the world together. We are looking forward to being a sexy sexed passengers to Mozambique. Someone better organize lesbians in Mozzie or we will come back cerebosed . or we can have all kinds of fish, everywhere including the fish markets. Session Notes
· Our session was started lightly, per ser where we had to share the purpose of the meeting, why it is important to have dinner 48. That Dinner48 is one of the media platforms to mould an identity of an African Lesbian. Initially Fundi envisaged the Dinner 48 will feature defining who the African Lesbian is but it turns out that the misconceptions about her identity are unfounded.· So it was agreed that instead harness and embrace her identity African Lesbian cos she exist.
· We agreed on the manifesto for the group that we are more than a Dinner 4 8 but a group of lesbians who are out to help define model this African Lesbian who seems to be illusive yet defined, present yet invisible.
· The proposal at hand was we need to have a media and forums where she is defined better, through social activism and pleasure activities that are beyond the typical current lesbian socialization.
· The vision of this group( African Lesbian) was we are lesbians a people beyond being an NGO like organization but rather a movement of sorts.
· The point being that we want to know what are the realities of lesbians as a whole, also to help define what is it that we want to see happening different in our communities
( The issue of “corrective” rape was talked about as an example whereby we hear the stories of these people but when it comes to getting them together to speak about their traumatic events it seems that many opt to rather say nothing and not come forward as the “VOICE” to this rape.)
· What are the perceptions out there about lesbians? We need to have a better defined brand African Lesbian· This is a movement that would look to building ourselves collectively and as individuals.
· Communication must be in such a way as to include people that are not in South Africa alone but abroad and in other African countries as well. We need to get Africa to share their Lesbain stories
· The big question that led to this NEED to have such a movement is to answer the question: what and who is the African Lesbian It was also suggested that it would be important to share about the history of the LGBTI community so this would not be reinventing the wheel but merely discussing what it means to be an African lesbian in the 21st Century.
· Also engage the existing professional lesbians who are capable to also volunteer their time and skills in detailing this programme
· It was concluded that the best topic to be featured will be “Coming Out as it symbolises the birth of the New Journey, Our coming Out stories. This above point then led to the exciting idea of having the first Dinner 4 8 being about Coming Out, however, a debate and question was posed asking Why should we come out??
· There was then talk about profiling people in the various sectors to showcase that being a lesbian does not mean one cannot achieve certain goals in life through the fact that we have a wide range of different professionals and they could be what young lesbians look up to and live to emulate and become like them. Lesbians success stories need to be shared. Fikile suggested the executive profiling, parenting, history, how culture impacts on lesbians, what does the law says what else do we need to do. Lesbians at work place, lesbians doing it for themselves, formulation of networks( eg Tax Lady)
There was then discussions held about Lobola and how to combat such a situation when there are two women involved: oThis particular topic sparked quite a debate whereby there was a feeling of why should I pay lobola for you and you do not for me. Then there were the issues of parents wanting lobola from both sides We then found ourselves trying to justify why one partner “deserved” to have lobola paid for her with taking the“home-making” role as an important factor where one partner stated that they do a lot around the house to make it a home. BUT there was also the expectations of each sides parents that no matter what when they had their daughter they had an idea of one day getting lobola for her and so because of that they expected lobola from the other side. In the end it was concluded that perhaps they should do a swap, the one family matches the other family and they both get the same amount of money… A bit was discussed about culture and the question of Christianity being a culture and how people reconcile the two. · Tshidi had another vision for the event, Dinner48 and the audience, and all pay to participate. with only 8 Guest invite. Fundi suggested that cos this is the first one, it should not be limited to 8 guests but all, it will be a intimate dinner "bring your own" for maximum 40 guests who will be sharing their coming out stories.
· Tsidi had a menu plan for a all events. Very impressive.
· It was indicated that we will need a journalist or a scriber to tell tales of this women. Fikile suggested that we would rather be more professional in editing for the 5minute Trailer for the first video for Dinner48 as it will be launching an identity that will stay with us forever. She suggested that instead of just doing it we need to plan thoroughly and engage other service providers.
We needed the services of
- the events organizer who will be gaining a skill necessary in future to organize events, already identified
- the videographer, Fikile said we should call her a movie maker( too expensive). We have find the videographer. Meeting to be held shortly, thanks to Thandeka Jwaha.
- And a logo design and the invitation.
- Fundi was suppose to go check if it is feasible to put it together for the month end of January or propose an alternative date.
Next meeting
- It was proposed that we will have an African Lesbian afternoon we discuss and socialize as a think tank. Initially proposed for the 28th January 2012.
- She proposes to postpone til 24th Feb as she need to finalize seating arrangement at the venue and general logistics if we need a studio to host 40 guests. And we also need to finalize catering and all logistics.
- The new date will be announced in due course what out for the campaign the participant profiles, and the events theme.
